It was like a shot through the stomach.It was making me sick.The pure though of it made me hurl.I couldn't believe it yet I knew it was coming.I have been warned.And though I really thought it wouldn't affect me,it did.I honestly though my heart was stone cold,but i guess it melted when summer came.I thought i had no feelings left,but i was wrong.
Funny thing,these feelings.We would be so much better off without them but yet we need them.We need them to call ourselves human.And they're those sweet love feelings that cause addiction.But because i got so little of love and so much of hatred,so little of care and so much of superficiality,so little of closeness and so much of loneliness,I subconciously let my humanity slide away to save myself from the sorrow.But this way i made room for the shallowness that made me who i was,a bad person.
I lost control over my life and made many mistakes.Sadly,I opened my eyes too late.Way too goddamn late.So i had to retie friendships,which i hated i lost,straighten my behaviour and get a grip over my life.
Popularity was my addiction and I learned to overcome it.But,as i noticed,my past mistakes came right back up and bit me in the back.Maybe i deserve it,but it still hurts.And i hate pain.Pain caused by a wound so deep,it steals hundreds of tears only at the thought of it.
Time heals everything.Now,I'm in rehab.Life rehab.It's better late than never,and it's hard but I've gone through harder.I'm gonna fight and succeed 'cause I'm a winner..And I've got the greatest friends who have my back.
One day I'm gonna leave it all behind
And start over...